Its okay to fall in love despite your parents crumbling relationship. It doesn't have to be that way for everyone...

 Don't join the Army, you are going to be scarred for the rest of your life. For fucks sake, ask Jaime out.

 The secret to a successful partnership is for each of you, equally, to believe that you are not good enough for the other.

 Be happy. Your mom is crazy, dad's an enabler, your brother is a murdering psychopath in the making, and you dated a liar. So? Stop dwelling on it and enjoy the wonderful person you became because of it. You will have a sailor, with a loving family that adores you. Make your own family out of it.

  If he lies once, he is always a liar.

 Losing your v-card to the frat boy of your dreams isn't ideal...but he will buy you Plan B the next day.

 Teach me patiently, guide me through life and introduce me to love. I will become you one day.

 It's okay to say no. You have to learn to say no, because all those people who you think have your back really don't. And don't rock the boat with your real friends over something stupid, even though you know they'll come back.