Don't just hear what people say, listen. People will try and take advantage of you. Don't let them. Do what you like, and finally, be honest. Honesty is the most valuable thing you'll ever find. That's because it's so rare to come across.

 Dump him.

 Remember to love those around you everyday: family, friends, and pets: the moments we share on this earth are far too short.

 When everyone told you life gets better after high school, they weren't lying. It really does get better.

 Cut your hair. You look way better that way and you'll probably get laid more often.

 Relax and be confident.

 1. Grow weed. 2. Sell weed. 3. Put weed in secret vault. Thank you.

 The cake IS a lie.