Enjoy what you have right now.

 Wear a condom dude. Seriously.

 Never, ever mess with a shy person again in your life. They have a lot of internal strength that you fail to grasp.

 Don't get too attached to anyone.

 Richard Feynman said, "No problem is too small or too trivial if we can really do something about it." Keep that in mind.

 Stop sneaking around to eat gallons of ice cream and entire boxes of chocolates. Just stop.

 You're gay! That's okay! Everyone loves you anyway!

 Don't attack the U.S.